FOMO, the Fear Of Missing Out, and YOLO, the thought that You Only Live Once so “go for it.” In my experience these are the Romulus and Remus of fear-based decisions.
How many times have I encountered, in myself or others, one or both of these two guides that lead us to fear-based decisions? Children who accept dares because they don’t want to miss out on all the “fun” being had by their peers? Adolescents who think that the latest Fast and Furious movie is actually a driver’s training film? Adults who convince themselves that buying that absurdly expensive boat, or home, or car, or…, will be the perfect thing to create great family memories for their children? Or maybe it was the husband or wife who were certain that the “perfect” partner was out there for them and so they rushed into a divorce in order to find “true happiness”.
I’m pretty sure we can all think of a circumstance in which we either personally or vicariously experienced one or more of these and other situations. Yet, we don’t have to leave the book of Proverbs to find how quickly succumbing to these fears can go so very wrong.
Prov. 1:32- “For the waywardness of the naïve shall kill them. And the complacency of fools shall destroy them.” Afraid of missing out? Afraid othat not enjoying the momentary thrill will leave you sad and lonely? Hmmm that is naïve and leads to death. Which should we really fear?
Prov. 22:7- “The rich rule over the poor and the borrower becomes the lender’s slave.” Great new boat? Beautiful McMansion? Trip to France for everyone? Wonderful memories? No doubt they can be, when done correctly, but when most Americans have less than $1,000.00 in case of an emergency, and think of access to credit as their “emergency fund” then maybe the fear of becoming a slave to the wealthy would be more prudent.
Prov. 8:5- “O naïve ones, discern prudence and O fools discern wisdom.” Clearly, when we fail to walk slowly and prudently we succumb to the old adage; fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
Prov. 14:15-16 “The naïve believes everything, but the prudent man considers his steps. A wise man is cautious and turns away from evil but a fool is arrogant and careless.”
When we are afraid, we are prone to making poor decisions. God tells us that when we face uncertainty we need to slow down and purposely act with prudence. It is in those moments, when something appears to be just too good (to be true?) or too terrifying, or too… that is when we need to consciously take deep breathing exercises to heart, and to slow down.
So how do we combat this tendency, this apparently natural instinct to set aside wisdom when confronted by YOLO or FOMO? Again, we don’t need to leave Proverbs in order to find the answers.
Prov. 1:2-6 “To know wisdom and instruction to discern the sayings of understanding. To receive instruction in wise behavior, righteousness, justice and equity; to give prudence to the naïve. To the youth knowledge and discretion. A wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel to understand a proverb and a figure, the words of the wise and their riddles."
In other words, the way to combat these tendencies is to study the Word of God. In His Word is found the key to avoiding the pitfalls of the naïve, foolish and imprudent. Not only does Proverbs outline this for us, but it tells us directly, bluntly, what is needed in order to learn what it takes to avoid these failings:
Prov. 1:7 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, Fools despise wisdom and instruction.”
Note that the solution runs contrary to the modern and fashionable notions about God. “Fear the Lord” is not exactly the main theme of our spiritual culture today. Our culture, even many churches and denominations, want us to emphasize the notion that God is nothing but Love and Charity. Some, if not many, want us to think of our Lord as the patron saint of a Social Gospel; bordering on a political Socialism. Yet, what do we find in Proverbs regarding this concept as well?
Prov. 13:22-23 “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, and the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous.”
Prov. 28:19 “He who tills his land will have plenty of food, but he who follows empty pursuits will have poverty in plenty."
God is the source of true Love, and of correct discipline. God is the source of true Grace and Salvation, and of a clear understanding of the consequences for refusing it. God is magnificent in all ways, and yet it is Him and Him alone that we should fear. Missing out on anything other than what God has for us is not to be feared, but rather it is to be sought after. Miss out on the things of this world and we will find what is far better. In the pursuits of God we will find those things that lead to only living once, but living eternally with God the Father, Christ the Son and the Holy Spirit.