"An argument started among them..." Luke 9:46
Arguments, disappointments, conflict, and challenging individuals. Disagreements can hurt and stand in the way of peace with God and others. Not a good thing. Working through disagreements is a good thing - not always easy but a good thing. People don’t always agree, but you know that. But here are some questions to consider: “How do you communicate with someone that you disagree with?” “What happens if that person is a relative, close friend, or even a colleague?” The number one response is often avoidance. Don’t bring it up. Ignore the issue. But is this the best way? I don’t think so. Avoiding people just “kicks the can further down the road.”
In life, there are all sorts of disagreements.
Another area is about decisions. These can be factual, and then can be preferential. For example, "where is the cheapest place to buy groceries?" But then the wording could be, "where is the best place to buy gas?" Two completely different situations - the first is an issue - the second is preferential. The approach we take and the attitude toward the other person is vital to not having a conflict. Some disagreements are relational. For example, there might be a dispute on how to handle a problem. Often, there is no clear right or wrong answer to those situations. They may simply be a matter of preference. Some are personal. All of us have preferences. You have distinct likes or dislikes. Choosing “avoidance” will result in bitterness.
And yet another category is theological differences. Every church or ministry will have plenty of theological disputes. How you navigate these is huge. Ask yourself, “Is it a major or minor issue? Do you disagree with your understanding of who God is? What is the standard for determining truth? Consider this strategy. Make sure your discussion is not simply a matter of opinion. Continue to focus on objective truth, not preferences or trends. So...
how important is this...
what do I get if I win the argument...
what happens to the other person if I keep arguing...
am I honoring God in this...
Disagreements are part of life. Remembering the priority of honoring God is key and remembering that those you disagree with were created by God is important as well.
Three tips: Pray. Speak clearly for them to understand. Be honest about your own feelings.
I know these discussions are hard, but God is always there.
Ephesians 4:29 – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
