“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:4
I was listening to a man reflect on some of C.S. Lewis’ writings in The Great Divorce and he said,
“I tell myself that I want the best for my wife, and I think I really do mean it. But what drove me to pursue her was not the conviction the way she could be happiest and make most progress in holiness was by being with me; rather, it was the great joy I took in being with her. I see my joy mirrored in her, and so I tell myself that it is ok, because she longs to be with me and I am not depriving her of that. But when she has to put up with my difficulties, and when I make her miserable, and when I think what advantages she might have with someone else, I am forced to wonder how much of my love is genuine. The answer is not to give up my wife and children, but to give up the reins of selfishness. Many a man (I hope, at least, all Christian men) have looked on their wives with sadness in their eyes, knowing she deserves a much better man than they are. The correct response is to summon your support network and buckle down to the hard, daily work of becoming the man she deserves.”
Here we see a wrestling with what true love really is. Romance, attraction, and mutual affection can all be a part of love. But what happens when one of those dissipates in a marriage? Such a scenario presents a person with the need to grapple with whether they have ever learned to truly love. Love, as modeled in Christ, does not give up when the other falls short. Love rolls up its sleeves, presses on, and continues to seek what is best for the other. We all fall short of the perfect love that Christ shows to us, but His love is a worthy aspiration and model for us to live toward. Not only on Valentine’s Day, but on every day.