“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish yourself to be.”
—Thomas à Kempis
How often do we find ourselves frustrated with others, wishing they would change? We envision a world where people meet our expectations, one in which people are kinder, more thoughtful, and less flawed. Yet Thomas à Kempis’ words cut straight to the heart of this frustration: we find ourselves angry at the flaws of others, yet we haven’t even mastered shaping ourselves.
Jesus spoke this truth when He said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the log in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3). Jesus highlights the human tendency to pass blame and point out the flaws of others while avoiding our own inner work. He directs our energy toward our own transformation. The reality is, we all have logs in our eyes, battles within our souls, and work to do.
Anger and criticism are heavy burdens to carry, and they keep us from the peace that is found in grace and forgiveness. The anger or judgment we feel toward others often says more about the battles within us than it does about their flaws. And when we allow bitterness to grow, we not only harm our relationships but also miss opportunities to grow in an experience of the grace that is so abundant in the heart of God.
Another author wisely observed, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” What if, instead of focusing on what others should be, we offered kindness and a silent prayer for them instead? What if we embraced the humility to acknowledge our own need for grace and allowed God to transform us first?
When we trust God to work in the lives of others—just as He is working in ours—we find freedom. The energy once spent on frustration is now redirected toward love, compassion, grace, and peace. Are you holding onto frustration with someone, trying to change them into who you think they should be? How can you let go of that anger and trust God’s work in their life and yours?
Lord, I confess my frustration with others and my impatience with their flaws. Remind me that I, too, am imperfect and in need of Your grace. Help me to trust You to work in the lives of those around me and to focus instead on the work You want to do in me. Teach me to walk in grace, knowing that every person I meet is carrying their own heavy burdens. Amen.