It is the one and only time I had a vision.
The remarks of a fellow churchgoer had hurt me deeply, and I found myself resentful and trying to avoid contact, which was exceedingly difficult in a church of only twenty-five. For weeks I stewed. And fretted. And nurtured that resentment.
A part of my heart was turning stony.
One Sunday, as I read Scripture and prayed, I saw it: my pink heart dangling from a thread, slowly turning, looking lovely, fleshy, and healthy. And there, as it turned, came a horrifying site as prominent as the Red Spot-on Jupiter: the ugly, gray, dusty, stony part I had nurtured into existence.
Humbled, I prayed God would fill me with understanding toward the one who had hurt me so; that I would no longer harbor hatred; that I would give to Him my resentment so He could turn it into forgiveness.
My revulsion toward the one who had hurt me vanished, and as I watched, that stony bit on my heart turned pink, whole, and healthy.
My joy abounded.
But then, the heart kept turning, and I saw dozens of tiny, ugly gray bits. “There are more,” I heard God say.
And I realized how I was putting up barriers not only between me and my brethren, but between me and God by refusing to live a life of forgiveness.
The heart vanished, and over the course of many years, as memories bring forth the hundreds, or thousands, of hurts I carry, I realize the great work before me to purify my heart.
Thankfully, I am not alone. God loves to hear us ask His help in healing our hearts.
I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 11:19.