“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up.” 1 Thess. 5:11:
So many people have low esteem and find self-comfort in cutting others down. Such was a former colleague of mine I will call “Nigel.” (I don’t think we have any Nigels at LPC.)
When you were on his good side, he might bring you unexpected gifts. More often, and through no fault of your own, you found yourself on the whipping end of his lashing tongue. I was there a lot. I had to learn to develop a thick skin.
One day, in a fit of rage over my finding something to be happy about in a difficult situation (this always set him off), Nigel turned to me and spat out: “Barbara, you’re such a … a … POLLYANNA!”
The look on his face when I turned to him and said a sincere and heartfelt, “Why Nigel, thank you!”
For possibly the first time in his life, he was at a loss for words. He stood there, open-mouthed and realized that what he had intended for a low blow had been received as a compliment.
I learned two lessons from that exchange: a soft answer indeed turned aside malicious intent; and it’s good to be positive.
While tearing others down has a momentary reward (full confession: I have taken momentary joy into giving someone that biting remark they deserve), it fades into regret (years later, I am still guilt-ridden over some things I said in my youth).
Being positive might be harder than grousing and tearing others down, but it is much more rewarding in the long run.
As Pollyanna famously said, “There is something about everything that you can be glad about, if you keep hunting long enough to find it. … if God took the trouble to tell us 800 times to be glad and rejoice, He must want us to do it.”