Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
Our focus on children leads to the final installment today. How crucial is it for children today to be in God’s house, nurtured by loving believers in Jesus, and taught the lessons of the Bible? One study showed that 72% of evangelical Christians came to faith before age 18. Another revealed that 83% professed Jesus as savior between ages 4 and 14. Major factors in accepting Christ were parental influences and participation in church family worship and religious education programs…no surprise here!
Throughout childhood, my siblings and I were blessed with parents who took us to church, not just to Sunday School and Worship services, but to Sunday evening vespers and Wednesday evening Bible Studies as well. I remember my dad telling of a conversation with a dear Catholic friend. The friend said he was sure happy to be Catholic rather than Baptist because the Catholics only had to go to church once a week. Daddy replied that we never went to church because we “had to.” Rather, we “got to go” and it was a privilege and a blessing to be there often.
For a child, hearing the Bible’s wonderful lessons happens while also learning and trying to understand language itself. So from a young child’s perspective, let’s share a few chuckles (and maybe some early childhood memories) today!
A little boy was asked to write a “book report” on the entire Bible. He’d obviously been taught lots of Bible stories, probably in Sunday School. We’ll just assume that the good foundation he received in his early years greatly clarified his understanding and perspectives as he grew and matured in his faith! Enjoy his report:
The Children’s Bible in a Nutshell
“In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, “The Lord thy God is one,” but I think He must be a lot older than that.
Anyway, God said, “Give me a light!” and someone did. Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn’t been invented yet.
Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden… not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn’t have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.
Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh’s people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.
God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don’t lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor’s stuff.
Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses’ best helpers was Joshua, who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn’t sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.
There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don’t have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, “Close the door! Were you born in a barn?” It would be nice to say, “As a matter of fact, I was.”)
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans.
Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.
But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn’t stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.”
https://www.vitality101.com/fun/Fun-childs_interpretation_of_bible)